


Te Anu

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-04
Updated: 2011-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 21:52:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sacred moment captured.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Te Anu

I stand, one hand propped against the open sliding-glass door looking out into the back yard. It's past midnight. Christmas morning is officially here. As I watch, soft moonlight glints off the pool's aqua water while lawn furniture and toys combine to create a surrealistic landscape in it's silvery glow. Behind me, the house is quiet. Everyone's asleep. Everyone but me.

Where are you? God, I wish I knew.

For me, everything that Christmas means is wrapped up in one image that won’t - just won’t - leave my mind.

It isn’t even Christmas. It’s November, I think. We were on the South Island in the midst of a record-breaking storm. The shoot was halted because of flooding and we were all hanging out at a hotel. A hotel in Te Anu.

It was morning and we were in the lounge having coffee when suddenly it started to snow. The ground was already covered, but this new snowfall was a veritable blizzard. In seconds we could barely see. You laughed and dashed outside without a moment’s hesitation. Viggo followed you. I followed too, yelling.

“Elijah!” I waved my blue jacket frantically. “Wait! Put this on! You’ll freeze!” But, you didn’t even hear me.

When I reached the patio you were sitting on the ground in the midst of the swirling flakes. They fell so softly over your hair and shoulders as you gazed up at the sky, a look akin to wonder on your face. You’d seen snow before, but something in this moment seemed to touch you with enchantment. Your face glowed in the soft, morning light and the snow caressed you the same way I longed to caress you. With infinite tenderness. With infinite adoration.

I felt it had all been fashioned just for you. That you had joined with the snow in magical union solely to create this portrait as a gift for us. As a gift… for me.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath catching in my throat. The coat hung limply in my hands as I gazed at you. In spite of my desperate desire to warm you, I couldn’t move. Your beauty in that moment tightened my chest and left me aching with love.

You turned and looked up at me, and your brow furrowed. Your countenance changed - shifted – and for a moment you seemed bewildered and even a bit fearful. Then your eyes cleared. Your beautiful face brightened. The frown disappeared and softened into a look of open-hearted tenderness. You raised your hands to the sky, welcoming the white flakes that floated down to cover you, giving yourself to the elements.

And for those few moments in time I was transported. My whole world was the love in your eyes and the wonder in your smile. You seemed magical, in that moment. A wondrous, enchanted creature who was one with the purity and beauty that surrounded us. And though I longed to make you mine, I knew that no one and nothing could ever fully claim you.

The sound of Viggo’s camera brought me back to reality. Kneeling next to you, I offered the coat and begged you to put it on, but you laughed and refused. “YOU put it on!” You told me, teasingly then, leaning closer, you whispered: “And if I get cold, you can hold me to warm me up.”

And now in the night when sleep eludes me and loneliness for you is an unbearable ache, that image haunts me. You in the snow at Te Aun, a thing both sacred and beautiful, giving yourself to the elements. And, in my fevered mind, giving yourself to me.

How I loved you at that moment! I knew then that from that time forward my life could never be the same. And no matter where you are or who you’re with I will always have that moment when I shared you only with the snow. When only the snow and I could kiss that face and fill those eyes and that soul with wonder.

For me… that moment encompasses everything that Christmas means. I see you that way, filled with joy and laughter - filled with love - and I’m able to bear the time apart. I’m able to let the love that you and I shared then - and that we continue to share - touch me as the snowflakes touched you. I’m able to let that abiding love flow from me, outward to my family, to my friends, and to all who come my way.

I love you so much. My only prayer as I stand here alone in the moonlight is that you’re happy. And maybe I’m allowed to hope, too, that the happiness you feel is large enough to include a thought of me… and of that moment at Te Anu.

Merry Christmas, Elijah.


End file.
